Saturday, October 1, 2011

Textiquette


Brother, Sissy-in-Law, and I are on our way home from CoNoCo. We're about three hours into the trip. An awesome weekend was had; but, I think Brother has been looking forward to the drive home since we arrived. Not because he wanted to leave, but because he couldn't wait to listen to Howard Stern on Sirius for 8 hours.

Because you can't be entertained by Mr. Stern for eight hours via pepperandpoppy, I've provided you entertainment via the GOAT. Below, enjoy a recent text message conversation between my father and I.

L: We're about five hours away
B&k are dropping me off at my apt could we figure out a way to get my car there that isn't too much trouble for you guys?

GOAT: CALL THE HOUSE , PLEASE

At this point in the conversation, I called my mother to find out if my parents' house was on fire or if Betty had climbed a tree and refused to come down until the GOAT agreed to an all day Last of the Mohicans' marathon. (She just "loves Daniel Day Lewis.") Text messaging in all capitals is wrong on so many levels. Not to my surprise, everything was fine in the KP and arrangements have been made for my car. Before I ended the call, I asked Betty to give the GOAT a message: He will receive a lesson in text messaging manners from me in the near future. Betty always delivers and here was GOAT's response to my offer of a free semester in textiquette charm school:

GOAT: HERE YOUR FRIGGIN ETIQUETTE, I LEAVE YOUR CAR IN THE "PARK &RIDE"POP

L: No leave it at the apartment.
And you will learn how to use text messaging manners whether you want to or not, it's called being a good digital citizen!!

GOAT: I"LL SEND YOU ON A SCAVENGER HUNT FOR YOUR CAR IN ONE OF THE LOTS AT RAVEN CREST HA !

L: You're a crazy person.

GOAT: BITE ME
AND REMEMBER THAT FOR FOR THE FUTURE, I"M TEXTING WHILE I'M DRIVING YOUR CAR , HOPE I DON'T WRECK IT

Is this where I get my endless wit? I know it's not where I get my spelling.

FIVE HOURS AWAY FROM NJ.

-L

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